DOES IT MATTER?
I feel I have done more than I’m going to do, like all have been done and said by other people who did that better than I ever will. The dices have been thrown and the result doesn’t make me a winner nor a loser, just a player. It’s already good to be a player, some people didn’t even know there’s ”something” going on right now and it’s ok too but I enjoy my lucidity as well as my anonymity. Sometimes I have to wonder if I’m truly loveable. Do I mean anything to anyone. Outside family I feel lost and when in family reunion I’m an extra terrestrial being. Friends are like a family we get to pick and family members are like pre-chosen friends. These words are written with the strenght of despair. Hoping what I am saying and the way i say it still means anything to someone out there who will find my choice of words has a certain delicacy and holds a certain power. Remember that it’s not easy to write about noting and everything at the same time. I’m just riding in the back of a bus deprived of a driver. Riding in a thunderstorm, looking through the windows I see melting faces outside. How can one expect a friendly sign from them, when I’m bound I can’t tell because I cannot see the reflect or the effect that I have on those people. I am meaningless, dazed and yes, confused as well. I would so like to be on a clear and well defined path but the stairwell at the end has been demolished by other’s people ideas and ideals; It don’t mean a thing anymore and it’s too late to do anything about it.
The deep sea screams of the whales are calling me and I found their etheral beauty more meaningful to me than any words but I can’t make such sounds. I’m human with human words and voice even though I wish I could do more. In short maybe, just maybe, I think I’m shattered. Im shredding the years!
Loud Alien Noize 
I’m pretty damned sure you have your own unique voice and perspective, and if you don’t, does anyone else? The things we say and do that others have said and done before are often new discoveries for us, and we have them because they represent terrain that everyone will traverse in the process of becoming human. I think if we just keep going, eventually we say and do things that are all our own. No baby every said anything original, but I think lots of old people have.
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I’m not gonna opine on the content of your post right now, sir. but I do wanna say that your writing [in English] is definitely improving as time goes on. I tells ya, kid, I sure as fuck wouldn’t wanna try writing in French or Spanish and hope to write anywhere near as well in my 2nd languages as I do en anglais. So, er, see this as praise, because it is. I admire your tenacity, punk.
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Thanks Captan! You just made my year!
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Warms up m heart. Thanks so much for taking the time to speak your mind. It is truly appreciated!
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There comes a time when we look at life and all sorts of questions invade our mind. After every thing, we just play our part. Who knows what future generations will find in our contribution? Some great souls witness their own recognition. Many don’t like those we call saints. Keep on!
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Thanks my friend!!! I will keep on bloggin’
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Who Knows!!!!! Thank You!
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You’ve come a long way since you wrote this old friend. I’m suffering the same doubts myself now. Never give up. If you howl into the wilderness long enough someone, or maybe something, will howl back.
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Maybe Bull or Kerouac or maybe even Bukowski will howl back from their grave!! LOL How presumptious of me!
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